By: Chris “Topher” Aderhold

This past summer, for the sixth consecutive year, the staff of Camp Gray competed against the staff of nearby Camp Chi in an epic game of soccer. For the previous five games, lengthy recap stories were written (read stories from the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth games).

This year, rather than a lengthy recap story, I give you instead a lengthy recap poem… Enjoy! (To see photos from this year’s game, click here)

It is the beautiful game, it has been said,
Don’t use your hands, only your feet and your head
When played well, it’s poetry in motion
Like watching the crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean

As you may know, here at the camp we call Gray
A soccer team is put together each year to play
We compete against a camp that’s nearby
They are our strong Judeo-Christian ally

The stories of each previous game, I have told
Blah, blah, blah, they’re all the same, it’s getting old
It took many years, but it’s finally time
This year’s story will be told in a rhyme

It was a lovely sunny morning in late July
There was nary a cloud in the bright blue sky
We’d traveled to Camp Chi for the big game
Hoping the result wouldn’t be the same.

It was the 6th annual tilt versus our neighbor camp
The winner to receive a priceless lava lamp
Back in the day, we won the inaugural competition
Every game since, we’ve been beat into submission

We’re better at games played on a court
Regardless, soccer is quite the simple sport
All you gotta do is kick the ball in the net
It’s as simple as reciting the alphabet

That is unless the opposition has a goalie like a wall
His arms were long, and he sure did stand tall
Their players were more skilled than Cristiano Ronaldo
Their attackers elusive, similar to Where’s Waldo?

“It’s as simple as reciting the alphabet?”
Unless it’s the one from China’s autonomous region of Tibet
We struggled mightily to keep up with their skill,
We forgot our secret weapon, a man named Tom Thill

Our jerseys, they were the color of Army green
We thought we looked intimidating and awful mean
They gave us strength, until the opening whistle
Then they attacked us like a tomahawk missile

Despite our lack of soccer ability
Despite our lack of sheer athletic agility
We played hard, and never gave up the fight
We played with pride, we played with might

We’d be remiss if our sponsors we didn’t mention
Otherwise next time I see them there’d be tension
They support the team despite our mediocre play
Will they ever abandon us, nay I say!

Across our chest, the logo of OnTrack Communications
They’re abundantly generous with their donations
Are you looking to enhance your business technology?
The OnTrack guys are smarter than doctors of neurology

On the back of each jersey, the logo of Endres in Waunakee,
Their never ending support of Camp Gray is a guarantee
They make the best steel money can buy
Seriously, it’s the truth, why would I lie?

The ref, donned in green, called a good game
He went by Joe, I’m uncertain of his last name
In truth, there was no prize for the victorious team
Though winning a lava lamp is certainly the dream

Atop a grassy pitch on the other side of the Dells
The Camp Gray Football Club, after 90 minutes, we fell
We held our heads up high as we walked off the field
We’re going to Pizza Ranch?! All my pains are healed!

The Camp Gray Football Club will ride once more
From the ashes of defeat, we’ll rise to flip the score
Someday in the future, we’ll win this game again
I don’t know where I’ll be then Rock, but I’ll know about it, and I’ll grin